What Is The Real Deal With Divorce?

Why is it often claimed that the divorce rate among religious people is approximately equal to that of the non-religious? Presumably because it is true. 

Why would this be the case? Because religious belief, or any belief for that matter, is ultimately of no importance in maintaining a strong, healthy marriage or any other kind of relationship.

Now what somebody "believes" might influence his behavior, but it is ultimately behavior that determines the direction of any relationship. Of course there is no guarantee belief will engender the required behavior and this is the problem with belief itself.

If somebody “needs” to believe "this" or "that" to behave "accordingly", then certainly believing is a wise path to follow. On the other hand, there are people who need not believe anything to behave in a way that lends itself to success in marriage.

It might seem apparent that people with “strong” religious convictions have successful marriages because of their convictions, but this is naive. I will guarantee you the common link in their marital success is that they follow principles which lend themselves to such success!

What would prevent a couple with no religious convictions from experiencing a very rewarding marriage? Nothing, and it happens all the time!

The bottom line is that people of all religious and nonreligious persuasions will both succeed and fail in marriage and countless other things solely based on their behavior and the principles they follow, not the principles they merely believe or at least claim to believe.

How Do YOU Derive Meaning In Life?

Ultimately, existence could be seen as pointless regardless of what is believed or not.

If one who would otherwise be bad is good simply to meet the demands of God, it could be construed as meaningless. This is merely bribery or manipulation.

Alternatively, if one is terrible only because he believes God's grace will suffice, it could also be construed as meaningless. This is sheer arrogance!

Or if one is terrible only because he believes nothing, this could be viewed as meaningless too. If there is no God to appease, his only “hope” seems to be bettering himself at the apparent expense of everybody else. There is just something “cold” about this.

On the other hand, one who believes nothing but is nonetheless good could be viewed as meaningless as well. Why be good if it precludes him from maximizing his own desires and ambitions?

And last, one could be good independent of his belief but believe anyway. This could be seen as meaningless because why would he believe if he was already good? Possibly his only reason for believing is that he genuinely believes it to be true as opposed to believing only because he thinks great benefits will ensue and/or he will avoid eternal judgment.

Refer to my discussions on the nature of belief and it will reinforce my argument that belief's only worthwhile contribution is that it can, not necessarily will, make otherwise bad people good or at least relatively better. The reason I say it can as opposed to will make people good or better is because some people systematically become worse through the use of arrogant self-righteousness.

My point here is not to sow hopelessness. It is to demonstrate that because we are all different, there are numerous ways to find meaning in life.

A Futile Argument: Attempting To Make God Necessary For Moral Values To Be Meaningful

The more one tries to convince others that moral precepts have no value apart from God, the more he demeans the values themselves. This is problematic as it implies that values, such as compassion and forgiveness, are only meaningful if it is believed they originate with God. This is a complete MOCKERY of Him! 

How so? Well, it essentially implies that the only reason said moral precepts are followed is to avoid angering God or perhaps just to curry favor with Him, aka "bribery". But if I were God, which thankfully I am NOT, it would insult Me more that My children were following My "good" moral precepts only out of fear and perhaps in order to curry favor with Me as opposed to following them simply because they were deemed good in themselves!

Once again, it is as if one is saying, "OK God, I will be frank with you. I think your moral precepts are pretty lame but if they are the values you want me to live by, then I will do so (with at least a hint of reluctance). Now if one denies this, he is simply acknowledging that God is not necessary for moral precepts to have meaning.

How Do You Identify Yourself?

Identifying self with forms is how many in our society live their entire lives. It essentially means taking stuff from the outside to make us who we are. Examples include material objects like money, things, cars, expensive clothes, good looks, etc. The intangibles include things like popularity, accomplishments, strength, intelligence and many other things.

The problem this identity in form subjects us to is that all these things are fleeting. What happens when the essence of who you are (assuming in this case your identity is in things outside yourself) comes to an end but you still have yourself? Who is yourself at this point, with nothing to define you? The only thing that will not fade is the “I am” within you. And this is the you detached from all the stuff in the world that might currently define you.

Now there exists another type of identity with form which is especially insidious because it is unconscious to most. This is identification with ideology. Ideology is nothing but “thoughts”. What you believe and whether you are “right” or “wrong” for that matter is inconsequential to who you are. But many identify themselves with political beliefs, religious doctrine, world views and sports teams nonetheless.

Be forewarned: identification with ideology can be and often is dangerous. Imagine your identity, the essence of who you are, enshrined in your political and religious beliefs and ideas. If one disagrees with your beliefs, he is not just saying your beliefs are rubbish, he is saying you are rubbish. Them's fightin' words! It is a personal attack. And this is commonplace in our society today. People so often become their beliefs (religious, political, etc.) so much so that it leaves no room for constructive criticism not of people but of beliefs and ideas.

I like beliefs and ideas being criticized. It helps all of us grow and learn, or at least should. And maybe, just maybe, we will be better able to see other viewpoints and not be so blinded by our own “correct” viewpoints. Beliefs and ideals are fine. But they are not you!

Pondering The Variability Of Morality

I have always been much more reserved than most. Also, I have always been what most people, especially religious, would classify as the more obedient type. Why? Did mom and dad instill this tendency in me? If so, why does this instillation so often fail in others?

On the other hand, why do many with every known setback somehow shake themselves from adversity's grip? Something far beyond anything imaginable is going on behind the scenes. Might God explain this? Possibly, but not very well in my opinion. Why is there such variation in peoples' ways if only one way or a few is considered morally acceptable?

With this then, a person with an “acceptable” nature seems to be the lucky recipient of a transcendent, unconscious compulsion granted by God. Conversely, a person with an “unacceptable” nature seems to be nothing but a slave to a transcendent, unconscious compulsion apart from Him. How does this reflect on God? Seemingly not very well. If He is the ultimate explanation for this disparity, then it seems we can not avoid implicating God for “unacceptable” natures.

I think one of the many reasons I “found” God was that it was convenient to who I already was. Not to say I think or thought myself to be perfect by any means, just that I was naturally more the “obedient” type. So in effect, this “obedience” gave me an easy segue into the moral framework that is inherent in most religions. Hence the likely reason I chose Christianity.

Now many will adopt Christianity (or something similar) only because they are so disobedient! In this sense, it encourages and prods them to become better people only upon their having chosen to become better people! What about those that have no compulsion to become better people? Are they likely to turn to a religion or ideology predicated on a high moral standard? Probably not. For if they do, they will likely be ostracized if they do not get their acts together sooner as opposed to later.

So in Christianity (or something similar) there is ultimately a moral standard to embrace at some point. Upon accepting Christianity (or something similar), most will either 1) be moral already, 2) be actively working toward this higher moral standard or 3) be immoral and make no attempt to address their moral bankruptcy. 

These people 3) that are immoral and make no attempt to address their immorality will either stay or leave. If they stay and are “accepted”, this immoral bunch will likely be “accepted” just enough so the congregation appears to accept them. But will many, or perhaps SHOULD MANY, in the congregation make much of an effort to “fraternize” with these “non-conformists”? I don't think so whatsoever. Many of them will and SHOULD justifiably feel concerned they might be implicated in the behaviors of this immoral bunch. Furthermore, birds of the same feather tend to flock together. So it seems bad people forever destined to be bad are excluded from anything built on a high moral standard. As it should be, in my opinion.

However, I don't see God in this. I see 1) “already” good people, 2) bad people earnestly seeking goodness and last, 3) those that have no compulsion and feel no obligation to better their character. Where might God be in this? Why are the “wretches” seemingly left in the deep end without any “guidance” from God? Free-will? Why do the “other” bad people seek goodness? In the same way, why were the “already” good people “already” good? Free-will might sound pretty tempting if you are one of the bad earnestly seeking goodness or one of the “already” good, but what if you are left in the deep end without any “guidance” from God?

An interesting corollary to point out is how arbitrary explanations become when assessing an individual's behavior. As a very obedient and respectful person, I believe my character stems from myself. I say this with neither pride nor shame, rather just to say that it is what it is. Now it's interesting where many believers in God go with this. "Kurt, you're being arrogant and taking credit for something GOD gave you!" Hmmm..... So apparently God failed to "give" this gift to others? If this is so, what gives anybody the audacity to judge "bad" people ONLY BECAUSE GOD FAILED TO PROVIDE THEM WITH THE GIFT OF "GOOD" CHARACTER?

Furthermore, if God is in any way responsible for one's character, WHAT BECOMES OF HIS FREE-WILL?

Which Way Are We Going?

Are people these days getting either more religious or more secular? Many claim one or the other but why does it even matter? What would motivate religious people or secularists to believe either.

Might they believe or at least want to believe their view is dwindling in order to feel sufficiently threatened to justify parroting around doomsday propaganda and other such paranoid delusions?

Or perhaps they believe or want to believe their view is growing in popularity simply as a means to feel more “right” thereby emboldening themselves to go out and recruit others to their "sacred" cause?

My view as to why it might matter is because masses tend to act like sheep and as such, this might influence the herd to go where others are headed. In other words, let the masses determine the “correct” destination.

Ultimately I believe both religion and secularism are growing in the world (not the least of reasons being the increasing population and dissemination of ideas and information) but I think that because we are so much more global and multicultural today, polarity appears to be increasing only because we are living and interacting amongst different, competing cultures much more so.

If Only Everybody Believed The Same Thing, Things Would Be Fine!

"Well," it will likely be retorted, "I don't think things would be fine if everybody was a militant Muslim!" But if everybody was a militant Muslim, would anybody be a militant Muslim? It seems a militant Muslim would have nobody to be militant toward and hence no reason to be militant at all. Which just begs the question, how could a militant mindset originate without a purported enemy?

It takes an opposing view, not necessarily any more right or wrong or good or bad than another, to foment conflict in the first place! So once again, if only everybody believed the same thing, things would be fine.

I must confess, however, I'm not quite that naive. After all, I'm pretty certain if we did not have religion or politics or alma maters or whatever else to fight over, we would "find" as-yet-unknown things to fight over. After all, we must fight. It's that pesky ego!

Who Doesn't Like Buffet Lines?

Many, especially those of narrow-minded persuasions, claim an “anything goes” approach to religion and truth is akin to picking and choosing from a buffet line. And this is certainly true. But it must be pointed out that even these narrow-minded types are ultimately forced to pick and choose from the same buffet line.

For instance, most Christians do not obsess over choosing what to believe regarding post-tribulation vs. pre-tribulation. But is this not picking and choosing from the buffet line by implying this issue to be superficial and hence unimportant? Maybe it is of utmost importance to God as I am sure a select few would claim? Who really knows? Nobody!

As such, one can only arbitrarily assert that as long as you believe “this” or “that”, the “other” things are superficial and hence unimportant. Religious and other peoples' views on sexuality, acceptable occupations, capitalism, socialism, baptism, political views, environmentalism, racial issues, etc. vary much like all of our plates do in their content as we walk away from the buffet line.

The question is, do these views stem from God or self? If they are from self, this easily explains why so many views are in opposition to one another. On the other hand, if they stem from God, maybe they are all right.

In which case, why do we argue so passionately in favor of "our" individual views if all of them are equally valid? Alternatively, if one view is the pure, unadulterated truth, which one then?

A Humbling Realization

Many resentfully claim Barack Obama is heavily supported by blacks primarily, perhaps only, because he is black. So what? How is this any different a manner in which we all tend to make decisions regarding political candidates or anything for that matter?

Many commonly base decisions primarily or only on somebody's physical attractiveness, religious persuasion, support for/against gun control, support for/against the right to abortion, support for high/low taxes/entitlements (presumably driven only by how these issues affect themselves/their group(s), etc.

One could surmise all these reasons for basing decisions as patently superficial, or not. It depends on the perspective utilized. Ultimately, we all base decisions primarily on how it benefits us or the group(s) we most identify with. This is simply evolutionary group selection at play.

The End Of The Road

What is it about death that frightens people? Is it death or is it the dying? Might our fear simply be grounded in the possibility that we will not experience a quick transition to what I believe will be the only place of celestial peace? This seems rational. In this case, it is the road we fear, not the destination.

But who should actually be afraid of death itself? Religious people, especially the self-righteous type, typically believe in an afterlife comprised of heaven or hell. Of those that are self-righteous, where does one suppose these people assume they are going? Heaven, of course. So why should they be afraid?

What about the less than righteous? Where do these people believe they are going? Either heaven or hell. Of those that believe they are going to hell, should they be afraid? Perhaps, but many of these people seem overtly proud about their belief that they will inherit hell as an eternal rest stop, almost as if they embrace the idea of it. So even if hell exists and is actually the place of torment and gnashing of teeth many believe, why should they be afraid if hell is embraced?

What about atheists? Well, these people in all likelihood believe there is no reason to worry about a state that will never be experienced. If death is the end of consciousness, what is there to fear?

It seems the only people that might have a rational fear of death are those that never allow themselves to be “good enough” and hence believe they will be punished in the "Great Beyond".

The Root Of All Evil

Accepting what is will not necessarily preclude things from getting better anyway. It just means our primary focus is not on changing what is to what should be. An analogy to this is how evolution seems to promote “changes for the better” unconsciously or involuntarily.

I strongly believe because our hyper-driven society is so fixated on achieving goals in themselves that the ultimate moral imperative is lost. What is, or at least should be (I am well aware of my implicit denial of what is) the ultimate moral imperative? To make the world a more pleasant experience for everybody and everything.

If one's primary focus is achieving in itself, decency and sensitivity toward others will often be subverted because it gets in the way of an ultimate goal. I believe if everybody became aware of the destructive nature of their ego, the world would systematically become a much more inviting place!

Evil stems from neither religion nor lack of religion. It stems from unconsciousness to ego! Many non-believers and believers alike have big egos and will therefore sow disharmony and destruction just the same. Conversely, many believers and non-believers alike do not have big egos and will therefore sow harmony and peace just the same.

To the overly prideful atheist or overzealous religious hawk, neither belief nor lack of belief in God systematically leads to evil. Each leads to evil only insofar as how one uses ideology, or lack thereof, to inflate himself above others. For though good will be sown in the world only because of belief, bad will also be sown in the world only because of belief. Conversely, for though bad will be sown in the world only because of disbelief, good will also be sown in the world only because of disbelief.

Who Am I Not?

Your identity lies not in a race, a nationality, an ethnicity, a culture, a religion, a sexual orientation, a sex, a skin color, a flag, a piece of land, a team, a name, a college, a fraternity, a sorority, a car, a house, a fashion, a brand, a hairstyle, a profession, a label, a God, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a spouse, an ideology, a political party, a talk show host, a loss, a win, intelligence, stupidity, fatness, skinniness, beauty, ugliness, cuteness, baldness, wealthiness, motherhood, fatherhood, rightness, wrongness, sickness, healthiness, victimhood, and so on ad infinitum. Your identity lies within you.....

Who Or What Killed Friedrich Nietzsche?

It is often said by easily offended religious people in response to Nietzsche having said God was dead, that God then killed Nietzsche. But God did not kill Nietzsche. Nietzsche apparently died of an unknown illness, possibly syphilis. Furthermore, if God actually did kill Nietzsche for his seemingly irreverent remark(s), how would this make Him good?

Killing somebody simply for making an offensive comment (more than likely just an innocuous comment interpreted offensively) sounds decidedly like a human response to an insult. This is simply the ego “protecting itself". Would not a great, glorious God be above this seemingly childish type of response? Why would anybody feel an obligation to avenge insults? Because the insulted has staked his identity in something other than himself, in this case a thought. How could God stake His identity in anything but Himself? Furthermore, if God does in fact exist, why would He have felt compelled to strike Nietzsche dead for a comment that is not even true?

I would have to imagine a sufficiently glorious and powerful Entity would be aware enough of His identity such that He would not have to resort to striking someone dead only because this person “thought” God was dead. If He really is wonderful and powerful and completely fulfilled, what need would God have to punish anybody? And for what?

Many people impart their egos on God such that He is “forced” to serve their whims. On the other hand, if God is a slave to His ego much like we tend to be, then I am afraid we are all in big trouble!